Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give. You should be nice to people, even creeps. And if you:a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)b) he had come to save you from sin (and)c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and)d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c)then you would:e) live foreverf) someplace niceg) probably heavan However, if you:h) sinned (and/or)i) were a hypocrite (and/or)j) valued things over people (and)k) didn't do a, b, c, and d, then you were:l) fucked . Christopher Moore
About This Quote

In this quote, Joshua was preaching to a group of people that had been saved from their sins. He was preaching about how they could live forever if they were nice and did the things he preached. However, if they didn't do those things, they were going to go to hell. It is important to remember that this sermon was given before the death of Jesus. It is possible that Joshua may have been a false prophet who was using Joshua's ministry as a way to spread fear and pain into his listeners hearts.

Source: Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff, Christs Childhood Pal

Some Similar Quotes
  1. A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. - Jane Austen
  2. What's this?" he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there." It's a girl, " Jace said, recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one. - Cassandra Clare
  3. Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee. - J.r. Ward
  4. I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need. - Jeaniene Frost
  5. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charles M. Schulz
More Quotes By Christopher Moore
  1. Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
  2. Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
  3. Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
  4. People, generally, suck.
  5. If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
Related Topics